Brandy H./ "Don't count the days, make the days count."

The biggest challenge that Brandy faced in foster care was creating lasting healthy relationships. She have a lot of unresolved trauma from the foster care system that, she feel made her more susceptible to hanging with people who are not the best influences. She dealt with drug and alcohol abuse in the past. She sometimes get desperate to have connections with people and don't put herself first. She even went through DV/SA which led to her losing everything and having to go to court, but it was a huge source of reflection for her and caused her to know that she need to make changes. She’s still working on creating healthier relationships for herself but she feel like being more self-aware and going to therapy is helping her to make this change in her life. She knew there was nothing she could do, but behave and pray for the best. She read the book "A Child Called It" that inspired her not to give up.

The most difficult part she faced in and out the system is and has always has been the lack of stability in all aspects of her life. She’s been through a lot of moments where she didn’t know what her housing situation will be, and she’s unsure about a lot of her relationships with other people. It's caused a lot of anxiety, even in her adult life, about what will come next for her. But she feel more confident now that she know as long as she work hard and try her best to be a good person, others will notice and things will eventually work out despite the hurdles and barriers.

empathy is not often given to former foster youth. We have a lot more to figure out and confront within ourselves and it's not reasonable to think we will have overcome our traumas and figured everything out by 21.The holidays were sad for her because her and her sister were treated differently from their foster parents own kids. Not being with her siblings and mom or being able to them was hurtful and devastating.

Brandy states the age for transitional-aged youth needs to be 18-30. People often understand if 28 year olds need to live at home, or if people don't know what they want to do at 18, Most people without trauma don't even have their identity, career, and housing figured out until their 30s so she feel making services more widely available would greatly impact the outcomes of former foster youth.

Something that brought her comfort while she was in care (and even today) was having an ESA.

She says, “Emotional support animals really help foster youth in a lot of ways. We get a sense of responsibility, we have something to live for when times get extremely tough, and we get to feel loved and connected to an animal. It makes it easier to deal with all the issues when we know we can rely on our pets for comfort and love, even at times when we feel everyone else is unreliable.”

While she was in foster care, she says the general public could have and can help by informing those around them about the system and not using stereotypes and stigma to guide their judgments of former foster youth. When she was a younger student, the comments and micro aggressions would often discourage her, and even if you don't mean any harm by it, knowing that your words truly do leave lasting impressions is very important.

I would love to explore going to graduate school and starting my own non-profit to give shelter pets at risk for euthanasia to incarcerated persons. It would not only allow me to work with animals but marginalized communities who made mistakes or tried to survive and found themselves arrested. I'm also exploring other ways I can get involved with prison reform and the justice system in a way that benefits incarcerated persons...

Brandy often just took holidays as days off since she spent a lot of time on her studies, extracurriculars, and work. In extended foster care, she often secluded herself from others, even if her friends invited her to be with their families because it was emotionally draining to witness other people having something she would never have with her own family. She did make an effort to celebrate Mexican holidays but she also often celebrated them alone since she was not around many other Latinx people.

When she was emancipating from the system, she struggled with housing and did not know of any of the resources until she was too old to receive them. She was also often recommended to pay eight hundred plus in rent but they had not listened to when she stated she couldn't afford to do so. She also feel it's important to give former foster the resources they need to live independently, as she thrive when living alone and have a lot of trauma from living with others in her various placements.

An accomplishment that makes her proud is last year when she was 25, she graduated with her associate's degree. It may seem small and insignificant too many but she had to overcome so many external and internal barriers to do so and now can always say she is one of the foster youth who graduated.

My favorite quote I thought about while in care was "Don't count the days, make the days count." This encouraged me to focus on what I was doing for myself and my future and work as hard as I could without focusing too much on what I couldn't control. It's easier said than done, but looking back I'm very happy.