Ricardo G. / Over-time you will realize the benefits.
My most challenging experience would have to be the separation between my biological parents and me. Every day I thought of my mother. The day by day hardest challenges I would face was getting used to a structured home. It took me a long time to adjust to that because when I did something wrong I’d be grounded.
I would get grounded for anything. I was more used to getting hit with a sandal or belt, but only for reasons more serious. My biological parents never felt the need to punish me unless I was disrespectful towards them. I could stay up as late as I wanted and felt no need to bring up my low grades. Being grounded did make me learn because it required me to sit and think about what I was missing out on. It allowed me room to reflect on what I did wrong.
I was very fortunate to be around my two sisters, but I still got grounded much more than they did. One could say I needed straightening out even though my foster brother believed I would get grounded for no reason. He has recently told me all those times I faced punishment, it was not necessary because I was never defiant or violent towards anyone. I was overall respectful. My foster brother remembers me being quite innocent and overly curious. I was in that home for three years, but in those three years, my grades in school were the best they had ever been. Once I left I was never able to do as well with the school as I did while in foster care. Over-time I got use to my life and once my dad got custody I remember it was just as hard adjusting to my new life with father as it was in the foster home.
One piece of advice I would give someone else in the system would be that over-time you will realize the benefits and receive the most valuable lessons in growing up. I have never looked back at those years as a complete waste, and I honestly can’t imagine how I would have turned out had I not gone into a foster home and stayed with my parents. Part of me feels I would have learned no self control and might have drifted off to what I’d feel was easier and more than likely would have quit school.
Foster Care taught me patience, manners and gave me structure. It also made me aware of my importance and what opportunities lie for me in the future if I keep on a straight path. It also made me more familiar with what “family” is and what it should feel like to be in a stable one.
When I was in Foster Care I received all the lessons and support I needed and once I got back to my father I felt a bit lost. Foster care gave me everything that I needed to apply in my life, that leaving it, felt very foreign to me.
